Yep, that’s me.
This particular blog has only been alive since late April this year- not even a toddler, really.
When I did my writing course at Matador U back in WinterSpring, one of the things we focussed on was SEO- Search Engine Optimization, or, how to be found amongst the masses. The intarwebs are a mighty big place, and to learn more about it one has to delve deep into the network’s working, and possibly take the help of SEO services to understand it firsthand.
At one point back in late Spring, Mike Collins did me a lovely big favour and ran this here blog through his SEO program to see where it registered. It didn’t even show up. Go on the link here to figure online marketing and SEO solutions for your company.
I wasn’t just unpopular, I was brutally unpopular.
Nobody loved me.
And then something happened. I found my niche.
Every writer needs a niche if they are online and need people to find them. I had hoped for search terms like, say, Travel or Expat Blog or (as one Google search was phrased) ‘Roomful of Bosoms‘. Ah, but no. My niche is slightly different. My niche got me to #1 in Google. Yes, first result of first page.
And the search term?
Cairo Whorehouse. Variations include whorehouse in Cairo, whore house cairo, Oaxacan whorehouse and Shanghai whorehouse. I get at least four or five of these search terms every day according to my WP stats. Shanghai whorehouse alone registers at #3 on google. I haven’t even written a post about Shanghai whorehouses.
I did, once, write a post about the time I accidentally frequented a brothel in Cairo. Once. Ages ago. And it was totally clean- we went in, drank a beer, chatted with the girls, paid up, left. And yet that post is by far the most viewed on this blog. I’m trying to decide if I’m horrified or delighted.
I’m #1!
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Ha! I can relate. Most people find my blog CollazoProjects by Googling “Brazil” “bikini” and “big girls” or “big booty.” I kid you not. I did one post about large women who wear bikinis in Brazil and, well, it’s still a, um, big performer!
Cool! These are yesterday’s search terms/views:
shanghai whore houses 1
shanghai fast food 1
sinotaste 1
whore house cairo 1
whorehouse in cairo 1
And these are my overall top searches: whorehouse in cairo, market, blind massage in shanghai, cairo whorehouse, myanmar tomato salad
I find the whole thing fascinating. I wonder how disappointed/bewildered people are when they click through to my site and fail to find specifics on how to find a really good Cairo brothel. The same for Myanmar Tomato Salad- one small photo, once! Blind massage, ok- I actually did a whole post about that. And markets, yeah. No wonder I never really find what I want when I search…
One of the shrines nearby us has an unfortunate name. Unfortunate, because in a certain European language the same word is a slang term for a rather common sex act. The guys must be mighty surprised when they click on the link and see a post about a shinto festival. Well, at least it is a SNAKE festival, so maybe that counts, no?
Ha- that’s cool. I’m still enthralled by ‘roomful of bosoms’- can’t imagine the repeated pleasure of being found via Common Sex Act search terms. Do I dare ask the name of the festival?
I get the same thing with “grandmother strippers” after a somewhat boozy meeting with a 38 year old in Corpus Christi, Texas. I am always shocked when I check Google Analytics and see the number of hits I get to my blog based on that one phrase. Hard to believe there are so many people out there looking for that specific kink, really. None of them stay around very long. Too bad, I think I have some interesting stories…
Ha! That’s funny. I always wonder what those searchers think when they find our fairly innocent posts after searching for whores and brothels and grandma strippers and whatnot. Do they feel let down?
I’m the top Google result for “Lemon & Sesame Pringles.” I’m pretty proud of this little fact.
I just found out I’m also #1 for ‘very thorough haircut’. A tweet by Kal Penn is #2 an d 3. Pretty awesome/weird.
In our Awesome new blog we should try to become #1 on google for some very specific but odd search terms that we decide on beforehand– like, say, Giant Squid Pate or Toenails or Crunchy Crab Snax.