Notes on the First Anniversary of my 7th Blog

Origins

I started this blog near the end of last April, impulsively, after I read the words ‘ephemera and detritus’ in a comment on a blog I’ve long since lost track of.  Possibly from Salon’s now defunct Broadsheet. Rather than just noting it down and having a chortle over the awesomeness of the imagery as I am normally wont to do, I bought the domain name.  Oddly enough, there was no competition for it.

I already had about five other dormant and semi dormant blogs at the time, most under my aliases koangirl and yaramaz.  I collected blogs, just as I had accumulated paper diaries during my Luddite years. Blogs take up less space, luckily, so my parents don’t have to buy more Ikea storage boxes.

 

The first post of my long-running LJ blog, May 2004 (The Further Adventures of Yaramaz in Turkeyburg)

This blog was born near the tail-end of my rather elongated 12-week self-paced writing course through MatadorU (which I do recommend, as it’s a very well-thought-out, very hands-on course). I had entertained vague ideas of trying to be a professional travel writer, as I had been writing about travel since, well, 1994, and people had told me I was rather good at it.  My ego was confident that it could be done, though my PayPal account could not vouch for my abilities. It held only the $50 (minus service charges) I had earned from two articles I wrote in mid-2009.  I am only prolific when writing for free.

Surely I had my 10,000 hours of practice by that point, I thought.  I had been writing since I was four, when I put together a graphic novel about a man, a dog, a house and possibly a cat. I had a box somewhere back home full of hand-written time-travel historical novellas (with detailed illustrated floor plans of secret passageways and hidden lairs) from when I was ten. I had a collection of detailed journals that reached up to my thighs when stacked atop one another. I had decades of awkward and embarrassing rambling dispatches from abroad under my belt.

All that needed to be done now was to fine tune things a little, learn all about new media marketing and all would be well.  But I hadn’t anticipated what actually ended up happening. I overdosed on writing. On travel writing in particular. By summer, I wanted nothing to do with it.

Side Effect 1

The following words started to make me break out into metaphorical rashes: local (both adjective and noun), culture, authentic, traditional, nomad, travel, round-the-world (aka rtw), traveler, tourist, backpacker, hostel, digital nomad, location independent, cubicle-dwellers, 9-5, SEO, lifestyle, street food, wander(er), adventure(r).

Process

The MatadorU course took me about 16 weeks and I never actually submitted assignments for the last few modules, though I did the readings, passively. I started this blog instead, somewhere around week 13. I signed up for the NaBloPoMo and forced myself to post every day for the first month. For the self discipline. A half-hearted Natalie Goldberg kind of move. You’ll notice if you go back in my archives that my earliest posts were short and specific, focused on some kooky/nifty/notable aspect of Shanghai. Usually mop or doomed chicken related. Nobody read or commented. Page views were negligible. My writing slowly petered out. I was running out of things to say about Shanghai. Which didn’t matter as no one was reading what I wrote anyway, at least back then.

Side Effect 2

I was fried. I was tired. I was irritable.

I had about 45 illegible, nonsensical research papers to mark at work. I was being trained to mark even more as a part-time job. I was reading a million other travel blogs for the MatadorU course and disciplining myself to give thoughtful  feedback on my virtual classmates’ new projects. I was beginning to resent the written word. I was beginning to resent my feeble entry into the world of travel blogging. My online persona now felt like the awkward, isolated (but artsy! creative!), unfocused dork I had always been in the real world.

Process 2

I had done it all wrong from the beginning, in retrospect. A scattered effort. Unmatched metaphorical bras and panties. Let me show you what I did wrong.

My domain name doesn’t match my blog title.

 

Also, 'ephemera' and 'detritus' aren't exactly catchy or memorable key words

My mostly ignored Facebook fan page is only tangentially connected to the title of the blog.

 

At least I snuck the words 'totally' and 'impractical' into the title

My Twitter user name has nothing to do with either the blog title or the domain name (I had registered it a year previously).

Who is this koangirl anyway?

You know who is a model of consistency? UnbraveGirl. She is UnbraveGirl in domain name, in blog title, in Twitter, in Facebook, in email address. Even her business card says she is Unbrave Girl. Not only that, but UnbraveGirl is catchy and easy to spell. And people know who she is.

I have received messages from people who had just pieced together the fact that I was both Ephemera/Detritus and Koangirl and Yaramaz and MaryAnne. My personae require persistence and detective work.

Process 3

This blog started out as a blog about Shanghai, and tangentially about the trips I took away from Shanghai (Yangshuo, Harbin, etc). Short posts, local flavour, relevant photos. Sometime around July it shifted and I started posting long rants. Rants about work, about being exhausted by travel, by crowds, about frustrations of living in China. Those got a few comments. Those got a few more readers. The posts grew longer and darker and more personal: grim weather, dead chickens, freezing cold, monkey bites, genocide, loneliness. More comments, more readers. I was slowly becoming known, but not as a travel writer, but rather as a location-specific jaded diarist of sorts.

When I started running out of my own words and had hit a sort of brick wall with my life in Shanghai, I sent out the call for expat interviews, hoping they might help to clarify things a little. That post alone got more page views and comments than any other in the shortest period of time. At that point, I started to realize that none of this was about me at all.  This hunch was confirmed when one after the other the interviews I posted got more views and more comments than anything I had written. This realization was both discomfiting and a relief.

I learned through the interview series that I wasn’t the only one with mixed feelings about the whole living abroad thing. That it isn’t necessarily easy emotionally. That just quitting your 9-5 cubicle job and running off to faraway pastures (or cities) doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve solved anything. Not that I’ve ever run away from a 9-5 cubicle job. I never had one to begin with. I was actually entertaining thoughts of getting a 9-5 back home, just for the comfort, stability and familiarity. It’s hard to know what to do when it seems like everyone is talking about running away to the life you’re trying to escape (or at least, trying to rearrange in a more pleasing manner).

End Notes

The writing will continue as it has been. It will change. Maybe next month I’ll post illustrated haikus. Or maybe more student pieces. Or something about Gerald the Bear or Water Monsters. There will be no unified focus. Because I have none. And this blog will continue to be an SEO nightmare because of this lack of focus. Whatever. It’s mine and I can do whatever I want with it. Teaching pays the bills. That leaves me with complete freedom and creative control in my writing.

Next week I’ll post my series of interviews with imaginary water monsters.

Yes.

That will be pleasurable.

Comments

15 responses to “Notes on the First Anniversary of my 7th Blog”

  1. Sally Avatar

    Well, I like you and I read you and I comment and I remember your blog name (okay, my RSS feed thingie does that… and I was going to mention that it is a tad bit hard to, umm, spell… in fact, even looking at it I’m not quite sure how to spell it).
    I enjoy your blog because you are completely honest (and a wee bit jaded). And, well, we are twinsies. There simply isn’t enough honesty on the Interwebs, so it’s nice to get a dose now and then.

    1. MaryAnne Avatar
      MaryAnne

      Aw, I like you too! And I’m glad you read and comment here- wish you had come here sooner. The first six months without you were empty and sad! Am glad you like my honesty. I fear sometimes that it actually drives people away. Maybe I need a persona. A chipper one.

  2. Heather Avatar

    I, too, am a prolific writer only when I’m unpaid. I love the stories of inconsistency between domain name, blog name, twitter name and FB name. I’m having similar problems because I want to be 2Summers all the time but the name is often taken already. Anyway, love the blog and I hope you keep it up, regardless of persona or genre.

    1. MaryAnne Avatar
      MaryAnne

      Aw, thanks! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels perhaps a little…constrained by paid writing. For me, I just feel the pressure of a thousand critical eyes on every word (even though I know people also read this… but it isn’t the same). I become totally unable to write when told to write. And if I do produce, it often sounds forced and unnatural. I suppose I need to keep my day job.

  3. Nancy Lewis Avatar

    Thanks for being the real you, MaryAnne 🙂

    1. MaryAnne Avatar
      MaryAnne

      Aw, thank you! I’ll continue to do my best!

  4. Michi Avatar

    Your posts always make me laugh, and the fact that you have several different aliases says a lot about you (and in a good way). 🙂 Happy 7th blog anniversary!!!

    1. MaryAnne Avatar
      MaryAnne

      Aw thanks!

  5. Usha Avatar

    HAHA! Similar feelings. lol. My blog never had a direction and when I finally thought maybe it should head somewhere, i found it a little difficult to start writing. haha.

    Nevertheless, Kudos to your 1st anniversary on your 7th blog (seriously 7??) :s

    Cheers

    1. MaryAnne Avatar
      MaryAnne

      Yup, 7th- I started with a now deleted pair of Geocities sites back in 1997-1999 and 2001-2002, then a Blogspot that never really took off (so it doesn’t really count), then a public Livejournal that’s still chugging along, another blogspot that I used when Livejournal was banned by authorities, a WordPress.com site that led to my 101 Things About Shanghai series here, and another WordPress site for my MatadorU writing assignments. And those are the ones I’ve kept track of.

      And thanks for the kudos! Happy bloggiversay to Ephemera and Detritus! May it remain unfocused and relatively well written!

  6. Rebecca Avatar

    “I am only prolific when writing for free “- love it!

    I always enjoy stopping by your blog & completely understand where you were at in the U & process paragraphs. I felt like I went through this steep SEO learning curve only to come out feeling exhausted and confused about what exactly I was doing with my writing (I’m still a little confused). It was only when someone rudely emailed me asking why I hadn’t commented/stubled/tweeted/facebooked their latest post yet that I decided to take a little break from it all. And when a spam comment on my own blog read “this is the biggest loAd of sh#t I have ever read”, I thought yes. This is the biggest load of shit I’ve ever read too. Harsh but refreshing.

    So thanks for your honest writing, happy anniversary & I’m looking forward to the next interview series with those imaginary monsters 🙂

    1. MaryAnne Avatar
      MaryAnne

      I’ve had a few people force their way into demanding tweets and stumbles and whatnot and, like the vocabulary list I noted above, they and all they stood for made me break out into that metaphorical rash. I think I’m mostly here for the joy of writing and the extra joy of sharing that writing with people who want to then talk about it.

      I dare Google Analytics and Alexa to try to track my hypothetical water monster interview series. I’m here to be an SEO Jammer. The revolution will not be monetized!

  7. Andrew Avatar

    Happy Blogversary to you. I like coming here, though I have neither the ability to spell or pronounce your domain. Yay for bookmarks and links and tweets and such. It is nice to see other people that happen to struggle with the expat life too. I sometimes feel a bit alone when I have issues with something as simple as living and working elsewhere. It’s good and cathartic to read your rants.
    BTW thanks for letting me be one of your interviews. Looking forward to the water monsters.

    1. MaryAnne Avatar
      MaryAnne

      Ah, the 1st water monster interview is out already! It’s just after this post! I’ve been in a bit of a posting frenzy this week, adding to people’s confusion. Hector Lakemonster is also struggling with being an expat. I think you’ll relate.

      And thanks for the blogversary best wishes. I’m glad you can occasionally find your way here, though it must be a huge struggle (what was I thinking? Ephemera? Detritus?) I like reading yours too for the same reason- nice to know we’re not alone in this!

  8. Oliver Avatar

    Recently started reading this blog, very interesting posts… keep up the good work and all the best ….

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