The photo above is actually a slight cop out. I didn’t take any pictures yesterday (the day this post technically represents, as I’m still woefully behind). However, it does represent a happy thing- or at least something that was new and made me feel surprisingly competent and capable. I’m not exactly sure if happy is the right word for a lot of what I’m noticing these days. Relief, maybe. Or perhaps calm. These aren’t exactly happy in the most literal sense but hell, I have an 8 week old baby and full blown joy can be tricky and complex to identify.
Above is Thwacky in his old wrap sling. He’s a bit heavy for that now and sprains the muscles on the sides of my torso if I wear it too long. We have a new sling now, a bit more ergonomically designed. I can walk long distances with him without pain. Small pleasures there.
Yesterday, I did something new, something about which I feel slightly embarrassed for feeling so quietly pleased with. After all, I have done a lot in my life and strapping a ten pound baby to my torso and walking isn’t a big deal. But right now it is.
For the first time since he was born, I walked the 20 minutes to the supermarket and bought groceries and walked back. By myself, with him strapped to me. We were gone for an hour. It rained near the end, during the annoying uphill bit on the busy and noisy Welford Road.
It sounds ridiculous, I know, but this is a first. We’ve taken him shopping before- as a couple, or with my parents; we’ve gone for long walks together- but again, I usually wasn’t alone (I hauled him up to the surgery as a newborn for something or other and he howled the whole way back).
It’s a weirdly small pleasure for someone who used to casually dash around countries and continents to feel proud and confident and relieved at successfully going shopping for coconut milk and bell peppers with a small, wriggly, volatile urchin strapped to their torso.
Baby steps, as it were.
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