Category: Shanghai Detritus
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Strangled Gasps of Creativity (or Why I’ll Probably Never Be a Published Author)
When I was 10, I was already the proud author of approximately a dozen unpublished novels. By unpublished, I mean, read only by myself- or perhaps by anyone who managed to sneak into my bedroom, haul the stacks of notebooks out from their not so well-hidden hiding place, and decipher my drunken spiderlike scrawl.…
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The Grass is Always Less Hazardous on the Other Side: I’m Cheating on China in my Head Again
For the second Monday in a row, Shanghai’s air has been deemed unfit for human consumption. Yesterday was declared hazardous, but I was in Nanjing, breathing in their particular combination of hazy chemicals. Maybe it was the kids I was testing, or maybe it was the air, but I came away from that weekend…
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Shanghai is trying to kill me: The self-care edition
About 5 years ago, during my last year in Istanbul, I was living in a lovely old flat in Osmanbey, a neighbourhood at that time populated by old man bars, Armenians, artsy types who couldn’t afford to live in Beyoglu, and very small scale industry. The building next door, above the plumbing and wiring shop,…
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Gardening in Shanghai and Other Indoor Sports
Doug said this morning that he really wouldn’t put it past me if I started raising chickens in the flat. I wondered if the neighbours would notice or care if I beheaded said chickens out in the shared hallway, between the lifts and the parked bicycle. That awful 3-legged yappy dork-dog from across the hall…
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Mapping the Amorphous City: I Attempt to Plot a Walking Tour of Shanghai
One thing I have learned from two years of writing here (and from approximately 30 years of writing in general) is that I can be factual, accurate and interesting- but never all three at the same time. Most of my university career was spent writing wildly ‘factual’ papers that my professors deemed interesting enough…
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Sunshine and Lollipops in Shanghai: I Do Believe It Is Springtime!
We are now, improbably for March in Shanghai, on Day 5 in a wild streak of completely sunny, bright, warm days. Yesterday I went out in a light cotton Thai sun dress with a medium weight cardigan over my shoulders, not convinced that I could shed so many layers before the month was out. I…
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Nothing to Say Here (The Solutions Edition): Put A Shirt on That Pig!
For today’s edition of my Shanghai photo series, I have a small task for you. You see, yesterday I saw something confusing. Something I hadn’t seen before in this city. I saw this. Yes, that’s a pig. And yes, she’s wearing her best quilted winter PJs to take the pig for a walk. I had…
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Nothing to Say Here: Shanghai Street Photos (Mops!)
You know what Shanghai is? Shanghai is MOPS. Period. Screw economic prowess, massive deconstruction projects, shiny buildings and nouveau riche bazillionaires and their homicidal spawn and their ¥10,000 bottles of moutai in garish clubs. This city is all about the mop. See?
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Nothing to Say Here: Shanghai Street Photos (Curing Winter Meats)
As you may have noted, my writer’s block is rather acute these days. Oddly enough, this dearth of things to say has coincided with an inexplicable increase in my impulse to take pictures of random things. Of course, these photos aren’t necessarily fit for human consumption as they focus mostly on mops and meats and…
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Top 4 Tips on How to Traumatize Your Parents When They Come to Visit You
I’d call myself the prodigal daughter except I have yet to return home after my years away in the wilderness. Every year, with irregular clockwork, my kind, brave parents gird their loins, apply for visas, book astronomically priced red-eye flights and come to see me. I repay their loving parental support by allowing these visits…
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I’m Nothing if Not Versatile. PS Dear Shanghai, I Don’t Hate You Any More
As I sink deeper into my hermit-like faux-unemployment and entertain myself with the delusional quest to make flatbreads out of every conceivable noodle dough, I find myself somewhat at a loss for words here. I mean, this is, in theory, a blog about Shanghai. An impractical guide to Shanghai but still, a blog…
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And Now For Something Completely Different: Impractical Shanghai Revisited
When I started this blog a year and a half ago, I really did intend to be at least vaguely useful in my writings about Shanghai. I think I mentioned one blind massage place (still excellent, by the way), a few Lanzhou la mian joints (also fabulous) and one half decent cafe. After a while,…